Freeze My Love Annex I: Hearth
by joudama
Summary: Once upon a time, Amamiya Nadeshiko fell out of a tree.
1. Nadeshiko

This is a stand-alone section of my larger fic, Freeze My Love that I figured I'd post seperately since it was done.. This is from *much* later in FmL than I've written, which is why it's listed seperately. Don't worry about spoliers for FmL; even though this is way late in the fic technically, all of the annexes are flashbacks, so this happens *before* CCS. :)

*** 

_Annex:   
Nadeshiko_

*** 

_One warm, spring day, Amamiya Nadeshiko fell out of a tree.   
_ _She had been trying to help a baby bird. She knew she shouldn't have been in the tree, but she could have scarcely *ignored* the poor thing. She _knew_ before she climbed the tree everything would be fine, in the same way as she _knew_ a lot of things, and she smiled happily when baby was back safely in its nest, thinking that her _knowing_ had been right, and she had only now to get down, and surely that was the easy part?  
_ _ She started to climb down the tree, when her foot slipped and she found herself descending from the tree far faster and in a far more horizontal direction than she had climbed it, and she had just enough time before she landed to wonder how it was her _knowing_ had been so wrong.   
_ _ But when she landed, it was not with the bone-shattering crash she had expected, but with a much softer thud, and the ground beneath her was warmer and softer than the ground had ever been. Before she could even begin to gather her thoughts, a soft, low voice asked her if she was all right, and she realized why the ground had been so soft when she landed. Still feeling shaken and hoping she hadn't hurt the poor man, she said she was fine. Then she got a good look at him, and realized why she had _known_ when she climbed the tree everything was going to be better after she climbed it than it had been before she climbed it. Her breath was taken away by his cheerful, sunny smile, and she _knew_ before he spoke his next words--to say he had thought an angel had fallen out of the sky--that this man would change her life forever. She _knew_ he was...special.   
_ _ His name was Kinomoto Fujitaka, and he was a new teacher at her school. She found herself gravitating towards his room before lunch and when classes were over, and that he would seek her out if he saw her walking the grounds by herself. One day she realized that she loved him, and that he loved her in return.  
_ _ Against the wishes of her entire family-- most strongly against the wishes of her cousin Amamiya Sonomi--as soon as she turned sixteen, Amamiya Nadeshiko married Fujitaka and became Kinomoto Nadeshiko. They were very poor, but they were very happy. He insisted she stay in school and graduate; every day they would walk to school together hand-in-hand, holding identical _bento _boxes that he had made because he was the better cook.   
_ _ Times were very hard, and Nadeshiko worked part-time as a model to help with the bills. She made enough at it that Fujitaka tentatively began to talk about maybe going back to graduate school. She encouraged him to do, and finally brought him application forms and filled out as much as she could herself when he seemed to be of two minds about it, torn between wanting to provide for her and the family they were planning one day, and wanting very badly to return to school. She told him that she wanted him to be happy, and until he went to school, he wouldn't be. Laughing that she knew him better than he did himself, he finished the forms, took all of the tests, and soon was a student again. Between his part-time teaching and her modeling, they managed to do all right, and began setting money aside for a house.   
_ _ When Nadeshiko found out she was pregnant, she and Fujitaka splurged and went out for dinner at the most expensive restaurant they could _almost _afford. They started talking immediately about names, and decided quickly that they wanted to name their children after flowers like they were--she was named after the flower called a "pink"; he was "flourishing wisteria." Nadeshiko said that she loved the name Sakura--"cherry blossom"--so if it was a girl, she wanted to name her that. Fujitaka agreed, since the cherry blossom was one of his favorite flowers. Nadeshiko thought for a moment, then said that her other favorite flower had already been taken, by him. Fujitaka just smiled at that, and said that his three favorite flowers were the pink, the cherry blossom, and the peach blossom. Nadeshiko's face lit up, and she said the peach blossom was one of her favorites, too.   
_ _ So when their first child was born, they named him "Peach Arrow."   
_ ___ Nadeshiko had a harder time recovering after she had the baby, and they decided to put off having another child for a while. Also, with Fujitaka back in school working on his PhD, it was better if they waited until he was done and could find a better job, because then they would be better able to afford more children. They waited six years, and not long after Touya turned seven and Fujitaka began assistant teaching at the nearby college; after they had bought a house far larger than they had imagined they could have possibly afforded (and Nadeshiko wondered to herself for years if perhaps her father had somehow secretly helped them), Nadeshiko had a little girl, and they named her "Cherry Blossom."   
_ ___ They planned on having more children, but often laughed that they had used up all the flower names they both liked, so what on earth were they going to do for names?   
_ ___ When Sakura was two and a half, Nadeshiko developed a slight cough. Thinking it was just a cold, she ignored it at first. But her cough only grew worse, and soon Fujitaka suggested she see a doctor. She kept saying she would be fine, and put off going, thinking that she would start feeling better any day now.   
_ _ As she grew sicker, Touya, as was his way, slowly began to take over many of the household chores and watching Sakura, without saying a word to anyone. Nadeshiko often found herself sitting down on the sofa for a small rest, and then would wake up hours later, laid down and covered with a blanket, Touya standing next to her with a tray that had a cup of tea and soup. She told him he was a good boy, and always thanked him for taking such good care of her and Sakura, saying she would make it up to him when he was feeling better. Touya always nodded seriously, even though Nadeshiko saw how her son's eyes were always guarded when she said that, and she wondered if perhaps he _knew_ something she didn't.   
_ _ She decided that her _knowing_ wouldn't fail her with something this important, and so she kept brushing off going to a doctor. Finally, seeing Nadeshiko getting weaker and weaker, as well growing paler and thinner, Fujitaka took the day off of work, made a doctor's appointment, and took Nadeshiko to the doctor's without telling her where they were going until they got there.   
_ ___ The news was not good, and less than a month later, Nadeshiko was admitted to the hospital. Fujitaka spent nearly every day there after work until visiting hours were over, sometimes bringing Touya and Sakura; most often leaving Touya in charge of his sister, because he didn't want either of them to see their mother as she was.   
_ _ When Nadeshiko died, just a few months after Sakura had turned three, her greatest regret was that she would not get to see her children grow up, and that she was leaving Fujitaka alone. She worried most about Sakura and Fujitaka; she knew it would be hard for Touya, but that he was in some ways stronger than either his father or his sister. He was like her. He _knew_ things, only he was far stronger than she ever had been, and she knew that would be guidance enough to make up for losing a mother. But Fujitaka didn't have anyone but her, and Sakura was a still a baby, and so she worried. Before she died, she made Fujitaka promise that he wouldn't cry if she died because she hated seeing him sad, and he promised her, holding her hand in both of his. She knew just looking into his eyes that that wouldn't be enough, because he thought it was an easy promise because she wasn't really going to die.   
_ ___ And so when she died, she did not pass on as she had expected to in some ways, but found herself at her home, waiting for her family. Fujitaka seemed stunned when he arrived, and could only stare blankly out into space, holding Sakura, who rested her head against her father's chest and cried quietly because she knew he was upset.   
_ _ She knew instantly that Touya could see her. No one else could, but by the way his eyes instantly locked on her, she knew that he knew she was there. She watched him eventually go to his dry-eyed father and take Sakura from him, telling him that it was Sakura's bedtime. Sakura had long since fallen asleep in her father's arms, and Fujitaka let his son carefully wake Sakura up and shepard her to bed. Nadeshiko kneeled by her husband and rested her hand on his knee, but she knew as soon as she did it that he could not feel her, and she _knew_ he would keep his promise and not cry for her.   
_ ___ She wondered if perhaps that promise had been one she should not have made him make.   
_ ___ She stayed with him for a while, watching him simply stare at nothing. Eventually, she heard Touya come down the stairs. He stared at the two of them for a moment, then quietly walked to the kitchen and made dinner for his father and himself. He took a tray out to his father, and stood there until Fujitaka noticed him. Fujitaka thanked him, but Touya refused to move until his father ate. Once Fujitaka had eaten, he took the tray back into the kitchen, ate his own food, which had grown cold, then went to his room.   
_ ___ Even though she did not want to leave Fujitaka alone to his grief, she knew that as far as Fujitaka knew, he was alone, and there was nothing she could do to change that. Her son, however, did know that she was there, and she could at least do something for him, so she followed Touya upstairs.   
_ ___ When she got to his room, Touya sat down on the floor and looked up at her. He didn't say anything, but his eyes spoke instead, accusing, hurt, and confused. She knelt down by him and explained everything to him--that she had died and was a ghost, like the ghosts he had once told her about being able to see. She told him she loved him, and that he would have to be strong for his father and sister. She asked him with a heavy heart to please take care of both his father and his sister, and she would help as much as she could until it was time for her to go. He asked if he was the only one who could see her, and she told him yes. She also asked him not to tell his father that she could see him. Without needing an explanation of why, Touya agreed. When Nadeshiko finished talking to him, Touya waited a long time, then lowered his head and asked her, in a very tiny voice, if it was all right if he cried. He said he had seen his father not crying, and so he hadn't cried. He looked up at her, eyes almost ready to overflow with tears, and said if he could just cry tonight, he'd be all right...but that if he wasn't supposed to cry, he would manage somehow. Nadeshiko nodded and the tears her son had been holding back all day began to slowly overflow and roll down his cheeks.   
_ _ Touya didn't make a sound, and Nadeshiko stayed with him until he cried himself to sleep,_ knowing _that her son would be all right. She stayed with them for the next three years, helping Touya as much as she could, watching as her husband slowly began putting his life together. One day, she saw that Sakura was old enough to no longer remember her or be sad that she had no mother, and that Fujitaka had pulled himself out of his grief and had organized the children and their lives to function without her, and Touya was no longer carrying the burden of being the strong one all by himself.   
_ ___ And seeing that the ones she had worried so much about would be all right, Nadeshiko Left. _


	2. Fujitaka

Annex: Hearth  
_Fujitaka_

_ The day Kinomoto Nadeshiko died was the day that Kinomoto Fujitaka's life ended.  
It hadn't seemed real. Yes, she had been sick. She had been coughing, and she had been growing tired. But she had also been dealing with her family and they were exhausting to her--they were vehemently opposed to her life now and they made no attempts at hiding it. They never had. Always, she had been able to smile and joke it off when they would suddenly reappear in their lives and try to drive them apart, try to break apart their marriage and take Nadeshiko away from him. He had, aty first, thought that it was only the pressures of two young children and her family being too much for her; he had at first thought that she was only having a harder time than normal shaking a bad cold--given the stresses in her life, it was to be expected that her small body would be at its limits. She had thought it was the same thing, and told him not to worry, she was fine, really.  
But then, the cold hadn't gone away. It had lasted far beyond where it should have ended, and seemed only to worsen, and he had finally made his wife go to a doctor, taking her without telling her that was where they were going until they got there.  
The doctor's words had been a shock. But nothing to the shock of her being admitted to the hospital, and nothing, absolutely nothing, to the shock of her dying.  
She had only been twenty-eight years old. Not old enough to have died. Twenty-eight with two children. Too young. It wasn't supposed to have been like that. She was not supposed to have died so young. It was...unthinkable. And yet, it was the reality. She had died, and when she did, some part of him, some part he hadn't really realized was vital to him and made him connect in a world that had always seemed strange, had died as well, leaving a gaping, black empty space inside of him.  
He would not cry. He had promised her. He had promised that he wouldn't cry, and so he wouldn't. He realized, somewhat dissassociatedly that night, after Touya had taken his sister to bed and made him eat, what exactly had died with Nadeshiko. He realized that he had died as well. Yes, he was alive, but he was nothing, now. Just...an unfeeling body, nothing left within it that could feel, aside from that gaping, empty space where Nadeshiko had been. There was only this nothingness, and he could not imagine living a life like this.  
He sat quietly in the dark the night his wife died, alone and contemplating.  
Her funeral was held not long after. The house they had bought together was full of mourners. Her family had come as well. And they had glared at him throughout the whole thing; glared at him accusatively when he clutched the framed photograph of her to his chest, glared at him even as they offered their barbed condolances. It was quite clear, all of it--they blamed him for his death. She had died to young, and it was because of him. He had taken her away form them twice, once when he married her and a second time when he let her die.  
They had been quietly vicious, and had stared at the children oddly, pityingly, that these poor children would have to be raised by him. They stared at Sakura, noticing and commenting on her resemblance to Nadeshiko, and by their silence, commenting as well on Touya's lack of resemblance to either one of them. They treated Touya strangely, almost as if they blamed him as well for Nadeshiko's marriage and death; even though he had been born after they had been married, he had still been born the year they had married, and it seemed as if they blamed him somehow for Nadeshiko's frailness--she had had a difficult time having Touya, and it had seemed that perhaps she had never actually fully recovered.  
But Sakura they loved. That was obvious; she looked so much like Nadeshiko that it was impossible for the family that had so loved Nadeshiko to not be instantly be taken by the girl.  
And that gave Fujitaka a tiny spark, a tiny bit of hope and light as he contemplated the emptiness that his life had suddenly become. They loved Sakura. They would love Sakura. They--well, they were cold to Touya now, but Touya was a good boy, even though he seemed gruff, they would surely...  
Touya suddenly fixed him with an odd look, then went back to accepting bereived condolances, not sparing his father another glance throughout the rest of the proceedings.  
When the funeral was over; when the house was finally empty, Fujitaka was surprised to notice his son sitting on the sofa, quietly and stonily staring out at nothing.  
"Touya?"  
Touya continued to stare straight ahead, his face still fixed. "I don't like them, Dad. Mom's family. They're all...well, they didn't care about mom very much until now, did they? They badgered her so much and could never be happy for her, because she hadn't done what they wanted. She was happy, but they didn't care and tried to make her unhappy. And then Mom got sick." Touya's voice trailed off, his eyes seemed to briefly focus on some empty space, almost uncertainly, before whatever brief wavering of resolve the boy had vanished, and he spoke in a voice that was firm and certain, presaging the man he was to one day become.  
"I don't want anything else to do with them, Dad.  
And then, Touya fixed him with a hard look, and somehow, Fujitaka *knew*. Somehow, somehow, Touya _knew_--Touya knew what he had been thinking, knew what he was planning. And was saying no.  
"And I never want to see them again. I never want to see any of them _ever again._" His son's cold eyes stared at him, flinty and certain, his meaning clearer than the words he had spoken, and strength in within them that Fujitaka knew suddenly he could never match.  
"All right, Touya." Fujitaka said, his voice oddly normal-sounding as something within him crumbled. "If you really want to never see them again, you don't have to."  
And part of him wanted to laugh, laugh hysterically and desperately, until tears ran down his face, but he didn't.  
Because he had promised Nadeshiko. He had promised he wouldn't cry, and he had promised he would look after their children and make sure they were happy.  
Because now he couldn't die._

* * *

Annex: _Touya_

* * *


	3. Touya

Annex I:

Hearth:

Touya

_            One day, Kinomoto Nadeshiko Left._

_            Kinomoto Touya, her son, knew that one day, she was going to Leave.  Or rather, he told himself that.  And he also told himself that it would be good when she did Leave.  She was, after all, not supposed to have stayed behind as a ghost.  He _knew _that.  He _knew_, as he _knew _many things, that it was far better for her to leave than to stay.  He had seen ghosts his entire life, and he had felt either ineffable sadness or unspeakable anger from them.  So, all in all, it was far better for people to Go.  But his mother had stayed, and part of him was glad for it, because it meant she was still there, even as part of him knew it was better for her to go.  He knew, once whatever her unfinished business tying her there was gone, she would be free.  He knew it.  So he was not surprised by her leaving._

_            He was, however, surprised by her not saying "Good-bye."_

_            It hurt, somehow, in a way he had not expected.  He told himself to stop being selfish, that he was supposed to be happy that she was finally at peace.  But part of him was hurt, and part of him was very angry.  And that part told him that she had just left him, without a word.  He told that part that he had had longer with her than anyone, and he had been lucky for that time._

_            And the small, angry voice answered back, because such voices always had answers._

_            Yes, she Left.  You knew she would.  And you also know that _you_ aren't why she stayed.  She didn't stay for your sake._

_            He knew his mother loved him.  But he also knew she hadn't worried as much about him, because he was like her, he _knew_ things...and that he would use that to protect his family.  He had become protective of Sakura even before their mother had died, carefully hiding from her as long as possible how sick their mother really was.  _

_            He had _known_, from the very start, that his mother was going to die and that he could do nothing but watch it happen.  He could do nothing more than watch, watch and try to ease her life as best he could.  And the night she died, when she came to talk to him, he cried for her because she was gone and also because she was, in her way, trapped.  She was trapped until he could make things right enough for her to leave.  He had to be the strong one.  Sakura was just a baby and his father...while his father didn't cry, Touya knew that something had broken._

_            Protect them, his mother had said.  Take care of them.  Be strong, and take care of them._

_            That was when he had known--she was not there for him.  She worried so much about them that she could not go to wherever it was that ghosts were supposed to go.  She was trapped in the world, the same as the ghosts of murdered children and accident victims; the same as the spirits of the vengeful and the lost._

_            She was trapped until he made things right enough for her to be able to move on._

_            The first thing he did was start taking over taking care of Sakura.  The first few days, she needed the most care.  He assumed, like all children, that his father would be able to take care of himself; it was not until the funeral service that he realized how horribly wrong that was._

_            And so, in his way, he took care of his father as well._

_            He began to take over the day-to-day things.  His father, he learned quickly, was woefully unprepared for some of the necessities of life.  His father was wonderfully ready in terms of taking care of chores and such, cleaning and cooking and sewing, but had no head at all for finances--he had, in standard Japanese way, simply left the finances to his wife, and now suddenly there were problems such as the electricity being cut off because he didn't know how to pay the bill._

_            That only happened once; Touya consulted with his mother, and from that day forth took care of the finances.  He took his father's pay stub every month, calculated out for bills, and took over as his mother had done, leaving his father the money for the week.  For the first few weeks after his mother died, Touya kept himself together.  He quietly did as he had before his mother died, taking care of the household chores as best he could, watching Sakura as soon as he got home, and doing his homework late at night, after she had gone to sleep.  After a semester, however, his father came to his room to tell him that he had received a phone call from the school, that Touya'__s grades were dropping.  Touya just shrugged and said he was busy; he'd work harder next time.  His father nodded, but stared at him strangely for a moment._

_            The next week, the chore chart started.  His grades improved._

_            Time passed.  Sakura grew older, Touya began to work, and his father seemed to step away from the strange and horrible gapingness that Touya had felt at the funeral, even though it was still there, quietly biding it's time._

_            It was simply a matter of time before it came out, but Touya could not think of a way to bring it to his mother or to talk to his father.  He would wait, and if the situation worsened, well, then he would do something.  He couldn't, after all, worry his mother with this.  She didn't need one more burden, tying her to world she was supposed to have Left._

_            So he stayed strong, took care of everything, protected them as best he could for his mother, so she could be free._

_            And then, one day she was gone._

_            And she hadn't cared enough to say "Good-bye."_

__

__

_            But time passed, as it always does, and he found that one day the slap in the face that his mother's abrupt departure had seemed to be had, as all pains one day do, faded from a sharp, painful grief into a dull ache._

_            It was during this time, when the pain was just beginning to fade, that Kinomoto Touya found himself standing in front of a tree._

_            It was not a tree like the one that he still occasionally had nightmares about; it was instead a tree that had...something...inside it.  He wasn't quite sure what, but he could feel it.  He walked over to the tree and introduced himself.  After all, many times, some of the things that lived in trees and rocks and many other things could be helpful.  They all had emotions, just as he did, and he knew that it was best to let them know that he was here, and that he was friendly._

_            He was not expecting anyone else to be there.  He was quite surprised, therefore, when he heard someone else's voice._

_            Her name was Kaho.  She smiled, and he sensed _something _about her.  Not simply that she _knew_ things, but something else. She sought him out, seemed to inexorable draw him to her with her gentle laughs and smiles and the way she teased him.  It seemed like the only time he could relax--that he could let go of the tight ball of stress that his life seemed to be now that his mother wasn't there to help him take care of his family--was when she was around._

_            It was because of her that he discovered his own age; that he finally got to be a teenager again.  She laughed at him if he was too serious, teased him for working too many jobs, and for the first time, he began to feel as if he mattered for more than just keeping everything running.  He could tell her about his fears and his worries, and she understood.  She listened.  She cared._

_            Kaho had become his world, and he loved her very much.  And, it seemed, she loved him as well.  And for a while, and for the first time in what had seemed to be a long time, Touya felt as if everything was finally going right.  He had Kaho.  She loved him.  Someone, a voice said, finally actually loved him.  Someone noticed _him_.  Someone cared.  She was...special, and he couldn't imagine feeling this way about anyone else._

_            And during a festival, a year after he told Kaho he loved her, she smiled as she always did, looked at him, and told him that it had been nice, but now it was over between them._

_            And with those words, Kaho was gone._

__

__

_            Time passed, as it always does, and he found that, one day, the blow to the stomach that Kaho's abrupt departure had seemed to be had, as all pains one day do, faded from a sharp, painful stabbing into a dull ache._

_            It was during this time, when the pain was just beginning to fade, that Kinomoto Fujitaka came home from a trip to Kyoto with load of books._

_            He asked his son Touya to put them away for him, since he had to run to the university.  He told Touya he hadn't had a chance yet to look over all of them, so to put the books in the smallest box on his desk, and he would look at them in detail later._

_            Touya agreed, and did as his father asked, not paying much attention until the last book in the smallest box, which he dropped as if burned._

_            It was a strange book; old, with an image of a winged lion on the front, and somehow...sealed?  Sealed by something other than the flap locking it.  He turned the book and lost his breath, something pulling him at the sight of the glyph of the moon.  There was an image, an image in his mind of the moon in winter.   His hands strayed over the flap keeping the book closed, his eyes glazing over slightly as he did so.  His fingers brushed it, toying unconsciously over it.  He felt his thumb twitch slightly, trying to open it.  Something was here, something strong, something powerful, something that would change everything; he had only to flip it open..._

_            He dropped the book.  His hands felt cold, like he had been touching ice, and he shivered, suddenly nervous, suddenly sure that there was something...wrong.  He frowned and picked the book up again, his fingers brushing the back of it, tracing unconsciously the raised crescent moon.  Cold, and image flashing in his mind of wings, of feathers and ice, and something that felt like a keening wail; a flash of despair that threatened to overwhelm him; a pain of loss that was too familiar for him to ignore, and he shivered.  His thumbs caressed the front, the sun and the face of the lion, and Touya suddenly felt sick; ill--there was something dangerous here.  Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to get this book *away*--something dangerous slumbered within it; something that for an instant had felt so terrifying familiar; something that for an instant had felt like his father, but only horribly transmuted into...something else, _someone_ else, something capable of creating that despairing chill he had felt from the moon, and he wanted nothing more than to get this book as far from his father as possible; wanted to make sure that his father could never become *that.*_

_            And he wanted this book away from *him*, wanted the temptation to open it, to grasp that power within it, to hold the power of the moon within his hands, wanted it away.  Whatever was in the book was far too tempting, far too seductive.  Part of it called to him, called to him in a voice that felt like a crumbling glacier, a power that he had never felt before and that could make him more powerful than anyone--anything--in the world.  It called him, it sang to him, it reached to him with feathered wings--_

_            --and he ran from it, afraid, irrationally so, of what it would make him become._

_            That night, Touya dreamed.  First he dreamed of darkness, a deep darkness that could be felt; reaching out to him and threatening to overwhelm him.  Something, something that felt like flower petals, brushed over him and he felt cold, frightened; more alone than he had ever been in his life, and _knowing_ that he would be overwhelmed.  He struggled, tearing forward, running, tree branches trying to capture him, tearing in his flesh.  But ahead, a light...there was a light..._

_            The moon.  Ahead, there was light, the light of the moon, and it would protect him in it's warmth glow, save him from the darkness that wanted nothing more than to pull him into it. The moon, he realized, was the only light; it was that which drove away the darkness of the midnight, and that which could save him from it._

_            But now, the darkness again, the moon was waning, fading, and he was surrounded by the sakura, black sakura, wrapping around him, drowning him again in the darkness, and a soft voice he had never heard before crying out in an unknown tongue--_

_            He woke with a start, in his father's office, holding the sealed book, fingers about to rip open the seal._

_            He dropped the book as if burned by the cold.  There was something stirring, something within the book, trying to awaken, and he knew it would destroy him, it was the Dark-- _

_            There was no warm moonlight now; only a feeling of something that would burn him to nothing._

_            And his father...what would it do to his father, if his father broke the seal?_

_            ~Protect them.~_

_            He couldn't throw out his father's book, but...but he could hide it somewhere.  His father had so many books...put it in the wrong place, on a shelf too low for his father to easily get too.  He shoved it into the bookcase and swore never to come for the book again; _knowing_, as he _knew_ many things, that what was in the book would destroy him, by making him into something else.  It was not safe now.  Not for him.  Perhaps not for his family, but certainly not for him.  _

_            And something whispered to him that it would not be safe for his father, who still teetered on the brink of some abyss.  No, he could not be touched by the Dark; it would be too much.  This book was not for either of them._

_            He shoved the book into a low shelf, and ran.  _

_            The rest of the night, he dreamed only of the moonlight; of standing in the light of the moon, bathed by its glow, and for the first time, feeling not as alone as he had felt for all of these years, since his mother, since Kaho--_

_            He reached for the moon, wanting it in his arms, to feel it.  It was there, almost within his grasp, almost--_

_            When he woke, there were tears on his face, for the loss of that dream of light; the loss of the moon, of one more thing that left him without a backwards glace.  He wiped them away, glad no one could see them, then got up and got ready for school._

_            That day, he met Tsukishiro Yukito, and knew that he had found the moon again._

_            This time, he would not let it go._

_            And this time, he would not be left._


End file.
